First, allow me to deeply apologize for my 18 month hiatus. At first, I was intensely focused on school, which paid off, because I have a 3.79 GPA. Then, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant.
So, yeah, I'm a mommy now! *SQUEE*
The past two months of my life have presented me with an enormous learning curve. I've ridden the rollercoaster of hormone changes and endured the whirlwind of emotions that comes along with it. In a matter of weeks, I have transitioned from a self-centered, lazy, complacent, unmotivated land whale to a more giving, driven, appreciative, cooperative person. For these changes, I am much happier and my marriage is stronger now than ever before. As the saying goes, having children really does changes your life, and mine has changed very much for the better.
To capture my thoughts about and experiences as a new parent, I have decided to launch a new blog: Bringing Up Violet.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Apron Strings (The Pink Hair Argument)
Parents. They nurture, mold, instruct, and guide their children into becoming everything they can be. Sometimes, mothers and fathers take this drive to extremes and become controlling rather than granting their kids the right to make mistakes and learn from them, choose the wrong path and find their own way back, and go off on a journey of self discovery and return a more whole and satisfied person.
My parents fall into the latter category. They are very controlling and extremely judgmental toward me. They have told me what to do and not do, who to be friends with, who to date, where to work, what to wear, how to clean my house, arrange my furniture, manage my finances, etc. If they would just give me some space to make decisions, make mistakes, and learn from the consequences, I would be much better off for it. As it stands, I still seek their approval and try to make them happy and proud of me.
This needs to stop now, because they only person who needs to be happy is me. I need to proud of myself, like myself, and love myself. I need to be the only person I am ultimately setting out to please. Should anyone else be pleased with my performance or how I live my life, that is a bonus. Living my life of my parents, by my parents, and for my parents is not working for me now and hasn't been for years. They need to cut the apron strings and stop their controlling, helicopter-parenting strategies.
NOTE: In my parents' defense, I highly doubt that they realize just how controlling they really are and can be. Also, I don't think they tell me what to do because they think I am incapable of making the right decisions. However, they do fear that I won't make the decisions they think are best for me. I think my parents try to control and strongly influence me out of fear: baby boomers tend to fear change and I know they are scared of losing me in any more ways than they already have (religion, which is a big one in their eyes).
My parents forced me to attend church with them when I reached the age of reason, saw through the brainwashing, and starting asking a lot of questions of my Sunday school teachers (most of which they could not or would not answer). For 12 years, until I moved to Florida to finish my B.A., I continued to fight with my parents and rage against my force-fed religion every Sunday. So, my parents made me a deal: go to church with us, do not complain, and you may choose where we eat after church every week. So, they bribed me with food, I ate whatever I wanted, and became obese. Is it any wonder then that I tipped the scales at 200-205 lbs. by age 19? Food was evidence of my parents' approval and love. I still struggle with emotional eating to this day, because it was so heavily reinforced at home.
At age 32, I officially came out as Atheist to my parents. Now, they request my presence at church by giving me the option to attend. There is no more forcing or coercing me, but there are occasionally guilt trips such as, "We talk about you to people at church and they want to meet you." I usually go, because I do enjoy meeting their friends who are generally very nice and a pleasure to talk to. I enjoy older people, so I go for that reason. I feel liberated that I don't have to pretend to believe anymore, but I see the heartbreak and fear in their eyes. They have "lost" me.
In October of 2007, my parents started telling me that I really need to get a Federal job since I was moving to the DC area. They enumerated all of the benefits, programs, investments, advantages, etc. of working for the Federal government and told me stories of their own careers: my father was career Army and my mother worked for US. Department of Education, US Department of Agriculture, and the Federal Aviation Administration. They had some great experiences and some not so great experiences, but they persevered and were now GS-12 or higher, respected, and accomplished government employees/retirees. They wanted me to follow in their illustrious footsteps. After hearing those same arguments and suggestions, I caved and started looking for a Federal job. In June of 2008, I took a position with US Customs & Border Protection. I hated it! I was miserable from the start! The job was nothing like what I was promised. About 18 months later, I resigned and felt like I could breathe again. I told my former boss, "I just gave myself a 'Get out of jail free' card." Never again will I take my parents' career advice, because what works for and excites them professionally is nothing close to my idea of the perfect job.
Currently, my parents are struggling to come to terms with my desire to dye my hair pink. "How did they find out?" you may be asking yourself. Well, the truth is that I told them. Since they will be visiting me for a few days before my birthday party for which I wanted my hair to be hot pink, I felt it a courtesy to give them a heads up so as not to induce shock upon answering the door when they arrive. I further explained that it would not interfere with my current work since I work from home part-time and take care of a puppy part-time and the puppy's owners won't care about the color of my hair. As I cannot seek full-time employment until after the Spring semester ends on May 15 due to my class schedule, that would give me about two months to enjoy my gorgeous, hot pink hair with no worries. Instead of listening to my explanations or even really hearing me, my parents took 3 whole days to discuss my plans in detail, and write a very long list of the reasons, "we sincerely hope you do not go through with this."
1.) If you do not need it, do not spend money on it.
2.) It will make your professor lose respect for you, see you in a different light, think less of you, change his mind about writing you a letter of recommendation.
3.) People will stare at you.
4.) It won't wash out.
5.) What if you hate it?
6) What if the sequestration means you have to find a job soon and you can't dye it back to normal?
7.) Your hair could fall out.
8.) We don't understand why you want to look abnormal.
I know there are more reasons forthcoming, but here are my rebuttals so far:
1). It is my money to spend as I see fit. I am not on your payroll.
2.) If my professor loses respect for me due to my hair color, then he never really respected me in the first place or for the right reasons.
3.) Yeah, people are going to stare at me, because I will take pride in my appearance.
4.) I don't want it to wash out. I will wear this color joyfully.
5.) I have wanted this for several months and have a referral to a reputable, friend-tested and approved, experienced colorist and my friends' hair is testament that he does excellent work.
6.) If I have to find a job soon, I can have a wig-wearing friend or two help me pick one and teach me how to wear it well. I will make do with that until it is safe to dye my hair back to a corporately acceptable hue.
7.) See #5 above.
8.) With all due respect, you do not have to understand my desires to let me express them. Rather, just give me the space I need to be the independent, creative, and unique young woman you raised me to be.
I am a grown woman on the cusp of 35 and only now am I putting my foot down to stop the dysfunctional relationship I have with my parents. I seek their approval and love, but they act like I will only receive love if I am doing what they want in order to gain said approval. If this is really the case, then their love for me is dependent upon me being their puppet. That's not the kind of relationship I want. That is why I broke free of religion. If God will only love his children when they do exactly what He commands them to do, then God's love is conditional. Love of one's children should always be unconditional, right? I suppose that's why I love dogs so deeply and strongly, because they love unconditionally and intensely unless given a very good reason to take that love away.
My parents probably think that they love me unconditionally. They should, too, regardless of what I choose to look like. Would it really be so bad if their straight-A student who volunteers her time to feed the world's hungry children and has a heart for animals so large that it may burst through her chest at any moment had hot pink hair for a few weeks? Would it really change their opinion of me so fundamentally that they would take their love away? If the answer is yes, which I do not think is the case, then their love would be conditional. Every child deserves unconditional love and should have it in abundance.
I wish there was a magic wand I could wave over their heads that would make them give me the space I need to be the person I want to be in all respects: beliefs, values, appearance, character, etc. I am getting closer to who I want to be as I get older, but I still have a long way to go. Having my parents support and love would be nice, but is not necessary for my journey. As hard as it would be to have to defy their wishes for me, as they young people of today say, "I gotta do me."
Have you ever been in a situation where your parents were overprotective, controlling, etc. in an unwarranted way? How did you deal with it? What was the outcome?
My parents fall into the latter category. They are very controlling and extremely judgmental toward me. They have told me what to do and not do, who to be friends with, who to date, where to work, what to wear, how to clean my house, arrange my furniture, manage my finances, etc. If they would just give me some space to make decisions, make mistakes, and learn from the consequences, I would be much better off for it. As it stands, I still seek their approval and try to make them happy and proud of me.
This needs to stop now, because they only person who needs to be happy is me. I need to proud of myself, like myself, and love myself. I need to be the only person I am ultimately setting out to please. Should anyone else be pleased with my performance or how I live my life, that is a bonus. Living my life of my parents, by my parents, and for my parents is not working for me now and hasn't been for years. They need to cut the apron strings and stop their controlling, helicopter-parenting strategies.
NOTE: In my parents' defense, I highly doubt that they realize just how controlling they really are and can be. Also, I don't think they tell me what to do because they think I am incapable of making the right decisions. However, they do fear that I won't make the decisions they think are best for me. I think my parents try to control and strongly influence me out of fear: baby boomers tend to fear change and I know they are scared of losing me in any more ways than they already have (religion, which is a big one in their eyes).
My parents forced me to attend church with them when I reached the age of reason, saw through the brainwashing, and starting asking a lot of questions of my Sunday school teachers (most of which they could not or would not answer). For 12 years, until I moved to Florida to finish my B.A., I continued to fight with my parents and rage against my force-fed religion every Sunday. So, my parents made me a deal: go to church with us, do not complain, and you may choose where we eat after church every week. So, they bribed me with food, I ate whatever I wanted, and became obese. Is it any wonder then that I tipped the scales at 200-205 lbs. by age 19? Food was evidence of my parents' approval and love. I still struggle with emotional eating to this day, because it was so heavily reinforced at home.
At age 32, I officially came out as Atheist to my parents. Now, they request my presence at church by giving me the option to attend. There is no more forcing or coercing me, but there are occasionally guilt trips such as, "We talk about you to people at church and they want to meet you." I usually go, because I do enjoy meeting their friends who are generally very nice and a pleasure to talk to. I enjoy older people, so I go for that reason. I feel liberated that I don't have to pretend to believe anymore, but I see the heartbreak and fear in their eyes. They have "lost" me.
In October of 2007, my parents started telling me that I really need to get a Federal job since I was moving to the DC area. They enumerated all of the benefits, programs, investments, advantages, etc. of working for the Federal government and told me stories of their own careers: my father was career Army and my mother worked for US. Department of Education, US Department of Agriculture, and the Federal Aviation Administration. They had some great experiences and some not so great experiences, but they persevered and were now GS-12 or higher, respected, and accomplished government employees/retirees. They wanted me to follow in their illustrious footsteps. After hearing those same arguments and suggestions, I caved and started looking for a Federal job. In June of 2008, I took a position with US Customs & Border Protection. I hated it! I was miserable from the start! The job was nothing like what I was promised. About 18 months later, I resigned and felt like I could breathe again. I told my former boss, "I just gave myself a 'Get out of jail free' card." Never again will I take my parents' career advice, because what works for and excites them professionally is nothing close to my idea of the perfect job.
Currently, my parents are struggling to come to terms with my desire to dye my hair pink. "How did they find out?" you may be asking yourself. Well, the truth is that I told them. Since they will be visiting me for a few days before my birthday party for which I wanted my hair to be hot pink, I felt it a courtesy to give them a heads up so as not to induce shock upon answering the door when they arrive. I further explained that it would not interfere with my current work since I work from home part-time and take care of a puppy part-time and the puppy's owners won't care about the color of my hair. As I cannot seek full-time employment until after the Spring semester ends on May 15 due to my class schedule, that would give me about two months to enjoy my gorgeous, hot pink hair with no worries. Instead of listening to my explanations or even really hearing me, my parents took 3 whole days to discuss my plans in detail, and write a very long list of the reasons, "we sincerely hope you do not go through with this."
1.) If you do not need it, do not spend money on it.
2.) It will make your professor lose respect for you, see you in a different light, think less of you, change his mind about writing you a letter of recommendation.
3.) People will stare at you.
4.) It won't wash out.
5.) What if you hate it?
6) What if the sequestration means you have to find a job soon and you can't dye it back to normal?
7.) Your hair could fall out.
8.) We don't understand why you want to look abnormal.
I know there are more reasons forthcoming, but here are my rebuttals so far:
1). It is my money to spend as I see fit. I am not on your payroll.
2.) If my professor loses respect for me due to my hair color, then he never really respected me in the first place or for the right reasons.
3.) Yeah, people are going to stare at me, because I will take pride in my appearance.
4.) I don't want it to wash out. I will wear this color joyfully.
5.) I have wanted this for several months and have a referral to a reputable, friend-tested and approved, experienced colorist and my friends' hair is testament that he does excellent work.
6.) If I have to find a job soon, I can have a wig-wearing friend or two help me pick one and teach me how to wear it well. I will make do with that until it is safe to dye my hair back to a corporately acceptable hue.
7.) See #5 above.
8.) With all due respect, you do not have to understand my desires to let me express them. Rather, just give me the space I need to be the independent, creative, and unique young woman you raised me to be.
I am a grown woman on the cusp of 35 and only now am I putting my foot down to stop the dysfunctional relationship I have with my parents. I seek their approval and love, but they act like I will only receive love if I am doing what they want in order to gain said approval. If this is really the case, then their love for me is dependent upon me being their puppet. That's not the kind of relationship I want. That is why I broke free of religion. If God will only love his children when they do exactly what He commands them to do, then God's love is conditional. Love of one's children should always be unconditional, right? I suppose that's why I love dogs so deeply and strongly, because they love unconditionally and intensely unless given a very good reason to take that love away.
My parents probably think that they love me unconditionally. They should, too, regardless of what I choose to look like. Would it really be so bad if their straight-A student who volunteers her time to feed the world's hungry children and has a heart for animals so large that it may burst through her chest at any moment had hot pink hair for a few weeks? Would it really change their opinion of me so fundamentally that they would take their love away? If the answer is yes, which I do not think is the case, then their love would be conditional. Every child deserves unconditional love and should have it in abundance.
I wish there was a magic wand I could wave over their heads that would make them give me the space I need to be the person I want to be in all respects: beliefs, values, appearance, character, etc. I am getting closer to who I want to be as I get older, but I still have a long way to go. Having my parents support and love would be nice, but is not necessary for my journey. As hard as it would be to have to defy their wishes for me, as they young people of today say, "I gotta do me."
Have you ever been in a situation where your parents were overprotective, controlling, etc. in an unwarranted way? How did you deal with it? What was the outcome?
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Chemical Slurry Is Everywhere
After unloading today's grocery haul and putting nearly everything away, I realized just how much unused and old stuff was in my bathroom cabinets, baskets, and Caboodle (yes, I still have it. My grandmother bought it for me when I was going to camp for the first time at age 10.). I took a quick inventory and realized that I had not touched over half of the bottles, lotions, and potions in there in over 2 years.
What was I waiting for? Why had I bought these things in the first place? Most of the time, the answer was, "Because it smells good and came with the set." I had used the body wash, hand lotion, lip gloss, and shampoo, but the rest, I would probably never touch. It was wasted money and I knew it. The situation was made worse in that some things were so old that they had separated, curdled (I'll bet you didn't know lotion could do that.), or otherwise was no longer usable.
Combined with the information I have read over the past year or so about toxic chemicals and food additives which are perfectly legal and are allowed to be present in our food supply by the FDA and the information about makeup preservatives and fillers I learned at the makeup/makeover party I went to last night, I began to read the labels.
I found the following ingredients included in makeup, lotion, perfume, body glitter, body wash, soap, shampoo, etc. After each entry, I have included a little information about what the substance is, common uses, and potential negative effects on the human body:
Bismuth (medicinal, treatment for gastric disorders; replacement for lead, used in cosmetics for its iridescence/light refraction): can cause bismuth poisoning, which affects the kidneys, liver, and bladder. Skin and respiratory irritation may follow exposure to the respective organs. As with lead, overexposure to bismuth may result in the formation of a black deposit on the gums, called a bismuth line.
Talc (industrial lubricant, chalk, baby powder, cosmetics): may cause breathing problems, lung cancer, ovarian cancer, and skin cancer. Approximately 75% of all ovarian tumors contain talc. The FDA classifies talc as "generally recognized as safe," (GRAS) which is not the same as "safe" in my book.
Propylene Glycol (solvent, humectant, food preservative, key ingredient in electronic cigarettes) FDA classified as GRAS, can cause asthma, hay fever, eczema, and allergic reactions. May cause burning and stinging when applied topically.
BHT (fuel and oil additive, food additive): may cause ADHD, cancer
Parabens (all forms) (preservative, bactericide, fungicide, food additive): Parabens mimic estrogen, which may cause breast cancer; may cause early puberty in young girls; skin irritation, contact dermatitis, rosacea; reacts with UVB light causing increased skin aging and DNA damage.
Artificial colors (food, drink, fabric, and cosmetic coloring): derived from coal tar and petroleum, nearly half of all food dyes that have been introduced have since been banned or had their use restricted; can cause ADD, ADHD, hives, thyroid tumors, liver damage, kidney damage, elevated white blood cell count indicating inflammation in the body.
Artificial preservatives (fungicide, bactericide): respiratory problems, asthma, ADHD,
Ambergris (solid, waxy, flammable grease derived from sperm whale vomit and feces): although it does not cause any ill effects, knowing that you're putting poop and puke on your skin is enough to turn most people off.
Toluene (industrial solvent, intoxicant): can cause exhaustion, confusion, weakness, drunk-like behaviors, memory loss, nausea, loss of appetite, and color blindness.
Formaldehyde (embalming fluid): carcinogenic, can cause drying and cracking of the skin and/or welts
Fragrances: approximately 95% of the chemicals used in the manufacturing of perfumes, body sprays, and other scented cosmetics contain derivatives of petroleum, which are known to be toxic, can cause cancer, birth defects, asthma, central nervous system disorders, and allergic reactions (including headache and migraine).
*shudder*
I was slathering chemical slurry onto my face and body for decades without caring, knowing, or thinking about what I was doing. For all I know, I caused some illnesses, made some conditions worse, and wasted a ton of money on poisons. I feel like such a gullible fool.
Given the results of my reading, recommendations from health-conscious friends, and my own extensive research on these ingredients and how to protect my body, I threw away a white kitchen-size trash bag full of junk products that were probably slowly killing me, making me sick, and making my Psoriasis and asthma worse. It just occurred to me that I recently started wearing perfume again after a long period of not doing so. I had noticed that I was getting winded easier and that it took me longer to recover after walking up the long hill from the parking garage to my class at school on the 4th floor. I started out taking the stairs, but got so winded that I took several minutes to resume a normal breathing pattern and the inability to take a deep breath lasted for up to 2 hours. It concerned me, but I didn't put two and two together until right now this very instant. Wow, perfume is horrible for lung function! Smelling girly and pretty is so not worth me having asthma again. I was originally diagnosed in 2002 while I was living in Montgomery, AL where several things I am allergic to flourish (Goldenrod, for one). When I moved out of the state, my asthma vanished. I no longer needed a rescue inhaler or Advair.
So, I have switched to using Burt's Bees for lotion, facial cleanser, facial moisturizer, lotions, and lip balm. I use witch hazel for astringent, clean my makeup brushes with a mixture of witch hazel and tea tree oil, and I use Sweet Minerals for all of my makeup needs (except mascara, which they are formulating and will release soon). Sweet Minerals contains no fillers. [FYI, ladies, Bare Minerals contains Bismuth, which is water insoluble and the reason why you can't put their eyeshadows on wet for stronger color.] Also, Sweet Minerals gives back to the local community through sales of eyeshadow colors made for good causes, was founded in Maryland, and is growing very quickly. Get in on the ground floor and do your face a favor: try it! I fell in love from first swirl, tap, and buff.
I sincerely hope that this information at least causes you to read the labels on the products you use. Please, be aware of what is in the products you use and consume. In this life, we only get one body and one lifetime. So, treat them with respect and do not risk either.
I love you and want you to live as well as you can for as long as you can.
Peace, love, and cupcakes.
What was I waiting for? Why had I bought these things in the first place? Most of the time, the answer was, "Because it smells good and came with the set." I had used the body wash, hand lotion, lip gloss, and shampoo, but the rest, I would probably never touch. It was wasted money and I knew it. The situation was made worse in that some things were so old that they had separated, curdled (I'll bet you didn't know lotion could do that.), or otherwise was no longer usable.
Combined with the information I have read over the past year or so about toxic chemicals and food additives which are perfectly legal and are allowed to be present in our food supply by the FDA and the information about makeup preservatives and fillers I learned at the makeup/makeover party I went to last night, I began to read the labels.
I found the following ingredients included in makeup, lotion, perfume, body glitter, body wash, soap, shampoo, etc. After each entry, I have included a little information about what the substance is, common uses, and potential negative effects on the human body:
Bismuth (medicinal, treatment for gastric disorders; replacement for lead, used in cosmetics for its iridescence/light refraction): can cause bismuth poisoning, which affects the kidneys, liver, and bladder. Skin and respiratory irritation may follow exposure to the respective organs. As with lead, overexposure to bismuth may result in the formation of a black deposit on the gums, called a bismuth line.
Talc (industrial lubricant, chalk, baby powder, cosmetics): may cause breathing problems, lung cancer, ovarian cancer, and skin cancer. Approximately 75% of all ovarian tumors contain talc. The FDA classifies talc as "generally recognized as safe," (GRAS) which is not the same as "safe" in my book.
Propylene Glycol (solvent, humectant, food preservative, key ingredient in electronic cigarettes) FDA classified as GRAS, can cause asthma, hay fever, eczema, and allergic reactions. May cause burning and stinging when applied topically.
BHT (fuel and oil additive, food additive): may cause ADHD, cancer
Parabens (all forms) (preservative, bactericide, fungicide, food additive): Parabens mimic estrogen, which may cause breast cancer; may cause early puberty in young girls; skin irritation, contact dermatitis, rosacea; reacts with UVB light causing increased skin aging and DNA damage.
Artificial colors (food, drink, fabric, and cosmetic coloring): derived from coal tar and petroleum, nearly half of all food dyes that have been introduced have since been banned or had their use restricted; can cause ADD, ADHD, hives, thyroid tumors, liver damage, kidney damage, elevated white blood cell count indicating inflammation in the body.
Artificial preservatives (fungicide, bactericide): respiratory problems, asthma, ADHD,
Ambergris (solid, waxy, flammable grease derived from sperm whale vomit and feces): although it does not cause any ill effects, knowing that you're putting poop and puke on your skin is enough to turn most people off.
Toluene (industrial solvent, intoxicant): can cause exhaustion, confusion, weakness, drunk-like behaviors, memory loss, nausea, loss of appetite, and color blindness.
Formaldehyde (embalming fluid): carcinogenic, can cause drying and cracking of the skin and/or welts
Fragrances: approximately 95% of the chemicals used in the manufacturing of perfumes, body sprays, and other scented cosmetics contain derivatives of petroleum, which are known to be toxic, can cause cancer, birth defects, asthma, central nervous system disorders, and allergic reactions (including headache and migraine).
I was slathering chemical slurry onto my face and body for decades without caring, knowing, or thinking about what I was doing. For all I know, I caused some illnesses, made some conditions worse, and wasted a ton of money on poisons. I feel like such a gullible fool.
Given the results of my reading, recommendations from health-conscious friends, and my own extensive research on these ingredients and how to protect my body, I threw away a white kitchen-size trash bag full of junk products that were probably slowly killing me, making me sick, and making my Psoriasis and asthma worse. It just occurred to me that I recently started wearing perfume again after a long period of not doing so. I had noticed that I was getting winded easier and that it took me longer to recover after walking up the long hill from the parking garage to my class at school on the 4th floor. I started out taking the stairs, but got so winded that I took several minutes to resume a normal breathing pattern and the inability to take a deep breath lasted for up to 2 hours. It concerned me, but I didn't put two and two together until right now this very instant. Wow, perfume is horrible for lung function! Smelling girly and pretty is so not worth me having asthma again. I was originally diagnosed in 2002 while I was living in Montgomery, AL where several things I am allergic to flourish (Goldenrod, for one). When I moved out of the state, my asthma vanished. I no longer needed a rescue inhaler or Advair.
So, I have switched to using Burt's Bees for lotion, facial cleanser, facial moisturizer, lotions, and lip balm. I use witch hazel for astringent, clean my makeup brushes with a mixture of witch hazel and tea tree oil, and I use Sweet Minerals for all of my makeup needs (except mascara, which they are formulating and will release soon). Sweet Minerals contains no fillers. [FYI, ladies, Bare Minerals contains Bismuth, which is water insoluble and the reason why you can't put their eyeshadows on wet for stronger color.] Also, Sweet Minerals gives back to the local community through sales of eyeshadow colors made for good causes, was founded in Maryland, and is growing very quickly. Get in on the ground floor and do your face a favor: try it! I fell in love from first swirl, tap, and buff.
I sincerely hope that this information at least causes you to read the labels on the products you use. Please, be aware of what is in the products you use and consume. In this life, we only get one body and one lifetime. So, treat them with respect and do not risk either.
Peace, love, and cupcakes.
Don't Park Like a Douchebag
Today at Safeway, I parked next to the cart corral and made sure that I was well centered and properly parked before I went into the store. This particular parking lot can be a bit of a death trap, so I wanted to be extra sure I was good before I did my shopping.
When I came back to my car, a black rolling football field (Cadillac or some junk) had parked severely crookedly, was well over the line, and was just far enough away from my back bumper that I could turn sideways and squeeze through to get into my car. I took a picture so I could show Chris when I got home and prepared to sit in my car until the offending parker came back. I intended to have a civilized word with this person, regardless of who they may be, to indicate that their parking job had falsely imprisoned me.
Fortunately for me, the person in the space ahead of me returned while I was snapping the photo, backed out, and left before I even realized. Only when I sat down and cranked the engine did I realize I could just drive straight out. Hooray for freedom!
If I could have one wish granted, it would be for zero douchebag parkers in the world. The offenders would nevermore do things such as:
1) Park crooked
2) Pull too far forward
3) Leave their back end sticking out into the flow of traffic
4) Park in a handicapped space when they are able-bodied
5) Steal a parking space you were waiting on with your turn signal clearly indicating your intent
6) Park so close to you that you have no chance of opening your car door
7) Open their door widely and forcefully without looking or judging the distance, thus denting your car
8) Failing to judge distance properly such that they sideswipe your car all the way in and/or out of the spot
9) Other egregious errors I have not yet thought of
So, please, pay it forward and ensure that you are an upright citizen and do your duty to park well each and every time. I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart in advance (with interest).
When I came back to my car, a black rolling football field (Cadillac or some junk) had parked severely crookedly, was well over the line, and was just far enough away from my back bumper that I could turn sideways and squeeze through to get into my car. I took a picture so I could show Chris when I got home and prepared to sit in my car until the offending parker came back. I intended to have a civilized word with this person, regardless of who they may be, to indicate that their parking job had falsely imprisoned me.
Fortunately for me, the person in the space ahead of me returned while I was snapping the photo, backed out, and left before I even realized. Only when I sat down and cranked the engine did I realize I could just drive straight out. Hooray for freedom!
If I could have one wish granted, it would be for zero douchebag parkers in the world. The offenders would nevermore do things such as:
1) Park crooked
2) Pull too far forward
3) Leave their back end sticking out into the flow of traffic
4) Park in a handicapped space when they are able-bodied
5) Steal a parking space you were waiting on with your turn signal clearly indicating your intent
6) Park so close to you that you have no chance of opening your car door
7) Open their door widely and forcefully without looking or judging the distance, thus denting your car
8) Failing to judge distance properly such that they sideswipe your car all the way in and/or out of the spot
9) Other egregious errors I have not yet thought of
So, please, pay it forward and ensure that you are an upright citizen and do your duty to park well each and every time. I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart in advance (with interest).
Jester Is Getting Older
I love my dog. I really, really do. He is a 6 year-old furry little ball of Rat Terrier energy and unconditional love. Sometimes, when he's really affectionate, he will lick my nose or hand which makes the puppy kisses I receive all the more special. He is not much of a lap dog unless we're riding in the car, but he will sit next to me and beg to be petted. Jester is my furry child and I cannot imagine my life without him. However, it is a very harsh reality that I will most likely outlive my little boy. *sniffle* Most little dogs live an average of 13 years. With our keen attention to his diet, medical needs, happiness, weight, and exercise, we intend to give him the best, longest life we can. There is precious little we would not do for him.
This morning, my special little guy (thank you, Bobby's World) had his comprehensive exam. Chris (my DH for those who don't know), dropped Jester off at Banfield in Springfield early this morning while I was sleeping in. When I woke up and joined Chris in the basement (where we usually hang out), he told me that Jester's favorite Vet Tech was on duty today: Rose! Jester loves Rose and Rose is smitten with Jester. They are a match made in veterinary heaven. Immediately upon seeing her, Jester scampers over to her and rolls over at her feet all submissive and adorable-like waiting not-so-patiently for his tummy rubs. It's so cute!
About 4 hours after dropping him off, we got the call that Jester was ready for pick-up. Also, the girl on the phone told us that Jester has Arthritis in his hips and knees. We knew he had a floating patella in one back leg, but this was news to us. My first thought was, "Aw, my poor baby! He has been in pain and I didn't notice. I'm a terrible doggy mommy."
When we picked him up, he scampered happily toward us as he always does; super happy to see his rescuers and relieved to have no more poking and prodding on deck for the day. Hooray! He is NOT in pain and I didn't notice anything, because there was nothing to notice. *whew* Jester has been extra whiny and sleepy, but that's to be expected from his vaccinations and blood draw. So, really, his diagnosis is just a forewarning and instruction to be more observant for signs of pain, if present. The vet prescribed him a Glucosamine and Chondroitin supplement, which should help and may even reverse some of the damage and improve the range of motion in his back legs.
Right now, my little monkey is passed out at the foot of my bed, content and happy to be at home in mommy's bed. "Sweet dreams, booboo."
ADDENDUM: Our vet estimates Jester to be about 7 years old as of 3/3/13.
Friday, January 18, 2013
2013: My Year to Say, "Yes, I will...."
Most of you have probably seen Yes Man (2008) with Jim Carey and Zooey Deschanel. What I took away from this movie is this: Say yes sometimes, even if you don't want to, are scared to, or don't know what you're getting yourself into. Only by being present in your own life and living in the moment are you really alive. Similarly, most of you have seen Pay It Forward. Along those lines, you've probably heard, seen, or taken part in a "random acts of kindness" movement.
Combining the messages/lessons/morals of these two films, I recently decided to make my personal mantra for this year, "Don't say, 'No.' Just go!" In other words, I will be saying, "Yes," to many types of things: 1) On Tuesday night in my Introduction to Computer Applications and Concepts class, I said, "Yes," when all three students in my row in the computer lab could not pull up a website (the substitute spelled it wrong and didn't figure out why most of the class was lost). Today while volunteering for the MLK Day of Service at NOVA, I said, "Yes," to helping clean up, break down, and load the truck. I also said, "Yes," when the Stop Hunger Now representative asked if I was available to volunteer on a regular basis and am now a registered go-to volunteer (which has the potential to lead to a paying job, hooray!).
For those of you who have seen Yes Man, I am not going to take the mantra anywhere near as literally as Jim Carey's character. No need to fret over me becoming overcommitted. Rather, I am going to say, "Yes!" to: parties, concerts, theater performances, dinners, in-home sales parties (these can be a lot of fun), new experiences, breaking out of my comfort zone, and becoming a person I am proud of. This year, I am challenging myself to be more present in my own life, actively engage with people I meet, make new friends, and strengthen bonds with friends and family.
Life is too short to let it fly by without enjoying it or actively participating in it. I have already lost many years, opportunities, and successes for various reasons. I've been a couch surfer, wallflower, and observer long enough. Judging by the life spans of my ancestors, I have likely lived about 40% of my life. Put another way, I wish I had more to show for the years I have been converting oxygen into carbon dioxide and water vapor. By doing more, I will have more accomplishments, perhaps a few more spectacular failures, but at least I will gain experience and have a few neat stories to tell.
I have put a few proverbial irons in the fire, and many plans are in the works, a few of which stretch my boundaries and explore new territory. As I take on these projects, travel to new places, and expand my horizon, I plan to share my experiences with you in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Lastly, I would like to ask you a favor. I am open to and actively taking your suggestions for things I should do, see, eat, hear, etc. If you're doing fun, exciting, strange, nifty (heck, or even downright naughty) things, invite me. My plan is to say, "Yes," unless I honestly have prior plans, my academic pursuits would suffer, or the logistics/finances are not where they need to be.
Challenge accepted? Great. Here I go!
Combining the messages/lessons/morals of these two films, I recently decided to make my personal mantra for this year, "Don't say, 'No.' Just go!" In other words, I will be saying, "Yes," to many types of things: 1) On Tuesday night in my Introduction to Computer Applications and Concepts class, I said, "Yes," when all three students in my row in the computer lab could not pull up a website (the substitute spelled it wrong and didn't figure out why most of the class was lost). Today while volunteering for the MLK Day of Service at NOVA, I said, "Yes," to helping clean up, break down, and load the truck. I also said, "Yes," when the Stop Hunger Now representative asked if I was available to volunteer on a regular basis and am now a registered go-to volunteer (which has the potential to lead to a paying job, hooray!).
For those of you who have seen Yes Man, I am not going to take the mantra anywhere near as literally as Jim Carey's character. No need to fret over me becoming overcommitted. Rather, I am going to say, "Yes!" to: parties, concerts, theater performances, dinners, in-home sales parties (these can be a lot of fun), new experiences, breaking out of my comfort zone, and becoming a person I am proud of. This year, I am challenging myself to be more present in my own life, actively engage with people I meet, make new friends, and strengthen bonds with friends and family.
Life is too short to let it fly by without enjoying it or actively participating in it. I have already lost many years, opportunities, and successes for various reasons. I've been a couch surfer, wallflower, and observer long enough. Judging by the life spans of my ancestors, I have likely lived about 40% of my life. Put another way, I wish I had more to show for the years I have been converting oxygen into carbon dioxide and water vapor. By doing more, I will have more accomplishments, perhaps a few more spectacular failures, but at least I will gain experience and have a few neat stories to tell.
I have put a few proverbial irons in the fire, and many plans are in the works, a few of which stretch my boundaries and explore new territory. As I take on these projects, travel to new places, and expand my horizon, I plan to share my experiences with you in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Lastly, I would like to ask you a favor. I am open to and actively taking your suggestions for things I should do, see, eat, hear, etc. If you're doing fun, exciting, strange, nifty (heck, or even downright naughty) things, invite me. My plan is to say, "Yes," unless I honestly have prior plans, my academic pursuits would suffer, or the logistics/finances are not where they need to be.
Challenge accepted? Great. Here I go!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Unstudious Students
NOTE: This post has been updated after a friend pointed out a few errors in judgment and logic. She was 100% right, so I edited the post to remove my bias. I apologize for any offense caused.
I am in my second semester at NOVA Alexandria campus and I am loving it! After being out of school for about 10 years, I decided to go back and pursue an A.A.S. in Business Management to give myself a new set of skills which will hopefully translate into me finally finding my niche career. I have four degrees (B.A. in English, A.S. in General Studies, A.S. in Legal Studies, and an A.A. in General Education), however I was not happy working in the jobs those degrees made accessible to me. I am still searching for my ideal job; the one I want to wake up early for and arrive early to; the one I am genuinely passionate about; and the one I cannot help but say only positive things about. I am still uncertain of what I want to be when I grow up other than Chris' wife and doggy mommy to at least one furry child at all times.
This semester, I am taking Introduction to Marketing. It is the first class I have taken during the day since 2001 when I graduated from the University of North Florida. Back then, it was normal to be surrounded by 18 to 23 year olds and have a handful of students in your classes who did not care about grades, their performance, or how much they may have gotten on their fellow students' and professors' nerves for their bad attitudes and approaches to school. Now that I am an adult (*gulp*, I turn 35 in about 2 months), I want to attend class with students who of the same mindset as me: get to class early, do all of the homework giving my best effort every time, complete all of the reading on time, come to class prepared, ask intelligent questions during the lecture, participate in class, build rapport with my fellow classmates and the professor, etc. I strive to be the best student I can be; always and without exception. I am very proud of my high GPA and academic performance and I am willing to go pretty far to protect and defend what I have worked so hard for.
So, when I have students in my class who are more inclined to put their heads down on the desk and nap/doze/sleep through class, not pay attention, not bring a pen or notebook to class so that taking notes is impossible, play on their iPad or iPhone through class, arrive late and leave early, make a lot of noise, talk amongst themselves during lecture, or otherwise demonstrate their negative attitude toward school or disrupt my and other students' ability to do well in the class, I take great offense and want to do something about it.
To my surprise and horror, there are several students in my marketing class who have already shown me that they apparently do not care about their performance in the class very much by the following behaviors:
1) two girls who are clearly best friends sit in the back row and talk quietly to each other through class
2) a few students who never bring a pen or notebook to class and never take notes
3) five students who consistently sit in the first row before class starts, which is reserved for late-comers and anyone who knows they must leave early (so they are not disrupting the class)
4) one girl who opened an "angry soda" which sprayed onto her desk (which she did not clean up) and who ate a bag of crunchy trail mix during class (her crunching was very loud, but my professor said nothing)
Unless these folks have taken a class under this particular professor before, they do not know that he quietly watches their behavior in class, makes notes as he needs to, and deducts points from their participation grade, which accounts for 5% of the final grade. Also, if they show up late after the roll has been passed around, they forfeit their attendance points for the day. These two aspects of the final grade could be considered a "gimme," so I would think that most students would do their best to arrive on time consistently, stay for the entire class period every time, participate in class, and guarantee that 10% (which translates to a letter grade difference and is nothing to scoff at).
Hopefully, we will be allowed to choose our own teams for the group project. If not, at least there is a peer review component to the project grade. On the form, we can give accolades to students who perform well and/or make the professor aware of any student(s) who did not pull their weight. I really dislike group projects, but I am already making mental notes about who I would like to have on my ideal team.
I am in my second semester at NOVA Alexandria campus and I am loving it! After being out of school for about 10 years, I decided to go back and pursue an A.A.S. in Business Management to give myself a new set of skills which will hopefully translate into me finally finding my niche career. I have four degrees (B.A. in English, A.S. in General Studies, A.S. in Legal Studies, and an A.A. in General Education), however I was not happy working in the jobs those degrees made accessible to me. I am still searching for my ideal job; the one I want to wake up early for and arrive early to; the one I am genuinely passionate about; and the one I cannot help but say only positive things about. I am still uncertain of what I want to be when I grow up other than Chris' wife and doggy mommy to at least one furry child at all times.
This semester, I am taking Introduction to Marketing. It is the first class I have taken during the day since 2001 when I graduated from the University of North Florida. Back then, it was normal to be surrounded by 18 to 23 year olds and have a handful of students in your classes who did not care about grades, their performance, or how much they may have gotten on their fellow students' and professors' nerves for their bad attitudes and approaches to school. Now that I am an adult (*gulp*, I turn 35 in about 2 months), I want to attend class with students who of the same mindset as me: get to class early, do all of the homework giving my best effort every time, complete all of the reading on time, come to class prepared, ask intelligent questions during the lecture, participate in class, build rapport with my fellow classmates and the professor, etc. I strive to be the best student I can be; always and without exception. I am very proud of my high GPA and academic performance and I am willing to go pretty far to protect and defend what I have worked so hard for.
So, when I have students in my class who are more inclined to put their heads down on the desk and nap/doze/sleep through class, not pay attention, not bring a pen or notebook to class so that taking notes is impossible, play on their iPad or iPhone through class, arrive late and leave early, make a lot of noise, talk amongst themselves during lecture, or otherwise demonstrate their negative attitude toward school or disrupt my and other students' ability to do well in the class, I take great offense and want to do something about it.
To my surprise and horror, there are several students in my marketing class who have already shown me that they apparently do not care about their performance in the class very much by the following behaviors:
1) two girls who are clearly best friends sit in the back row and talk quietly to each other through class
2) a few students who never bring a pen or notebook to class and never take notes
3) five students who consistently sit in the first row before class starts, which is reserved for late-comers and anyone who knows they must leave early (so they are not disrupting the class)
4) one girl who opened an "angry soda" which sprayed onto her desk (which she did not clean up) and who ate a bag of crunchy trail mix during class (her crunching was very loud, but my professor said nothing)
Unless these folks have taken a class under this particular professor before, they do not know that he quietly watches their behavior in class, makes notes as he needs to, and deducts points from their participation grade, which accounts for 5% of the final grade. Also, if they show up late after the roll has been passed around, they forfeit their attendance points for the day. These two aspects of the final grade could be considered a "gimme," so I would think that most students would do their best to arrive on time consistently, stay for the entire class period every time, participate in class, and guarantee that 10% (which translates to a letter grade difference and is nothing to scoff at).
Hopefully, we will be allowed to choose our own teams for the group project. If not, at least there is a peer review component to the project grade. On the form, we can give accolades to students who perform well and/or make the professor aware of any student(s) who did not pull their weight. I really dislike group projects, but I am already making mental notes about who I would like to have on my ideal team.
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